Glory to the Bus of This Story

Oh, bus journey of mine.
You’re a wart I can’t get rid of… the swine!
Oh, I could try.
But it would bleed and I’d cry.
Yet I cannot live without you.
Just like a shoe.
‘Tis life in a nutshell.
All is futile. Ain’t that swell?

Oh, bus journey of mine.
Each day the same, rarely on time.
Enduring the gloomy queue,
Teenagers pushing in like a torturous thumbscrew.
But what can you do?
Say anything and it won’t be coo coo ka choo.
‘Tis life in a nutshell.
All is futile. Ain’t that swell?

Oh, bus journey of mine,
Why are we waiting like sausages in brine?
Ah, that’s right; it’s the irritating person over there!
They’ve stood at the stop but have no fare.
So now we must stress why they fumble in their pocket with glee,
No, sir! Take your time! I have nowhere to be.
‘Tis life in a nutshell.
All is futile. Ain’t that swell?

Oh, bus journey of mine.
Why do you mock me as I whine?
Inane questions from passengers as we wait,
“Driver! Driver! WHY ARE YOU LATE!”
Or perhaps, “When is the next bus here?”
Such hopeless idle chitchat is so queer.
‘Tis life in a nutshell.
All is futile. Ain’t that swell?

Oh, bus journey of mine.
I moan but I can’t complain… the lack of a spine.
Drivers are a miserable bugbear,
They let people on… even when they don’t have the full fare!
And to make up for lost time strife,
They drive like lunatics! HANG ON FOR DEAR LIFE!
‘Tis life in a nutshell.
All is futile. Ain’t that swell?

Oh, bus journey of mine,
The rude driver a discourteous shrine.
Unhappy with no reply to, “Good morn!” The tart.
Grimacing with no reply to, “Thanks”, when I depart.
What made you so sad?
Are you really so bad?
‘Tis life in a nutshell.
All is futile. Ain’t that swell?

Oh, bus journey of mine,
“Why are you so filthy,” I huff and pine.
Out of the window I like to look,
But I can’t! It’s so dirty! It’s covered in muck!
It’s frustrating! Buy a power washer, it’s a good decision.
And while I remember, DEATH TO CONTRAVISION!
‘Tis life in a nutshell.
All is futile. Ain’t that swell?

Oh, bus journey of mine.
Why do you rattle and shake like a conga line?
Is this in your nature? Annoying squeaks?
As well as bangs and coolant leaks?
I groan until I turn blue.
Is a quiet journey so much to ask of you?
‘Tis life in a nutshell.
All is futile. Ain’t that swell?

Oh, bus journey of mine.
Why does my luck never shine?
All traffic lights: red, red, red!
I scream wishing I were dead.
Such endless road works leave me vengeful,
Like the bloodlust of a raging bull.
‘Tis life in a nutshell.
All is futile. Ain’t that swell?

Oh, bus journey of mine,
Bitter, I am! No, I am not fine.
I sigh with the vapers blowing smoke in my face,
Or the weed connoisseurs lacking all grace.
The driver doesn’t care,
So don’t complain! It’ll get you nowhere.
‘Tis life in a nutshell.
All is futile. Ain’t that swell?

Oh, bus journey of mine. Ears bleed as others cling to TikTok like Tarzan to his vine.
Every time, horrified I am, for me there is no smile.
Besotted with loud phones, gaming ditties, and music so vile!
Most of it is crap, play some decent tunes, I say!
God damn you if you get in their way.
‘Tis life in a nutshell.
All is futile. Ain’t that swell?

Oh, bus journey of mine,
Can you not take the hint? Show me a sign!
“I will not get up ‘til the bus stops.”
NO! GET UP! You’re wasting my time! I’ll have your chops.
But this is the thing with transit bugbears,
They devour you with angry flair.
‘Tis life in a nutshell.
All is futile. Ain’t that swell?

You can complain about the bus all you want – it is shit,
But like life’s annoyances, there’s nothing you can do but grin and bear it…

Peace Out :|:

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Post DCLXVI: What do you hate about public transit, reader?

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