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The Wonderment of Hot Feet

Here’s the story of killer jog, poor health, and breathing treacle.

I have never been in so much pain. I recall one particularly frightful day when I was trimming a tall tree and I slipped, landing on a shed roof that then gave way, leaving me surrounded by old forgotten junk and supersized spiders. Of course, the door was locked so I couldn’t get out. You see, I leave work at 4:15 and it’s a 20 minute walk over half a mile to the nearest bus stop. And yes, that is the nearest bus stop. Of course, some lunatic thought it would be a good idea to leave me in charge of the office for the entire day and I don’t have a key for the front door. So when 4:15 ticked by and there was no-one around to lock the door, I couldn’t leave. And my bus comes at 4:40. And the next doesn’t come until 5:30. So when the boss finally showed up at 4:30, I had to RUN, literally, half a mile in under ten minutes. And if you knew anything about me, you’d know that I am the least healthy person you’re ever likely to meet. I cannot tell you how much that run has broken me. I CANNOT FEEL MY FEET, for heaven’s sake! They feel like an odd combination of jelly, lead weights and someone else’s feet! AND THEY ARE SO HOT! I have no idea… WHY ARE THEY SO HOT! You could cook and egg on them, you really could…

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