Waking up Feeling like Spock

The unfashionable monarch wakes from her slumber,
Shooting the incessant owls, silencing their number.
From her mighty castle, she gazes out,
Sporting her exquisite infamous pout.
Excited! She is, for her morning routine.
Time to get this monarch all spick and mean…

The unfashionable monarch is a logical person,
Each day must start the same or her fear will worsen.
To the bathroom, she goes
To pop the spots upon her lonely red nose.
And to mush her hideous face into something more sightly.
Precisely 15 minutes gone, hold on tightly.

The unfashionable monarch moves to the loo.
You know what she has to do.
Back to the bedroom!
Make the bed and open the curtains to lift the gloom.
Of course always in this specific order,
Precisely 25 minutes gone, for our time-keeping hoarder.

The unfashionable monarch heads for her brekkie,
It’s early, so be careful, she’s still a touch tetchy.
The order and timing must remain the same,
Madness, you say? Well, she feels no shame.
Breakfast in her favourite bowl, an eye cast over current affairs.
Precisely 40 minutes gone, how are my potato shares?

The unfashionable monarch is grumpy but brekkie is one of many solutions.
Then it’s back to the bathroom for more ablutions!
Her moisturiser smooths while teeth must be brushed,
Her ugliness must be crushed!
Alas, this stiff regime is how she lives her life.
Precisely 50 minutes gone, with plenty of pain and strife…

The unfashionable monarch heads to the bedroom: sound the horn!
Clothes neatly folded to wear and awful hair to fiddle this morn!
She potters and gallivants all over the place,
Thrusting what she needs into her pockets as if it’s a race.
Does she have everything she needs?
Precisely one hour gone, we must dash at the fastest of speeds!

The unfashionable monarch’s endless morning ordeal is nearly done.
This is every morning for her! No matter how high strung…
You may think it is insane, a terrible curse!
Perhaps it is an attempt to control the universe.
Whatever it may be, time is now done.
Precisely one hour and eight minutes gone, it’s ever so fun…

This is the morning routine of I, your humble narrator… HARK!
I meant the unfashionable monarch.
Some may think such rigid routines are weird,
But some people need order to function, like a perfectly groomed beard.
For the unfashionable monarch, logic is not to mock.
For you may wake up feeling normal, but some of us wake up feeling like Spock.

Peace Out :|:

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